Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
