How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
