did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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