I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
