she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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