Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How naked do you want me to be?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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