Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize