I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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