My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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