i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
