wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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