I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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