So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
