Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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