It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
