the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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