How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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