I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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