Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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