I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
