weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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