Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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