shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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