when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
