Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
