3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
