its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize