Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
