I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
