Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
