do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
