I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
