so explain again why im purple
no
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
