and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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