You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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