it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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