Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize