as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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