my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
