Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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