If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
