im having a threesome with these popsicles
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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