the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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