So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
