dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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