Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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