Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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