My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
