lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
