last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
