Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I need to calm my uterus...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
