i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize