Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
