Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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