I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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