i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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