My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize