So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
