he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I am one with the molecules
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
His nipple licking is glorious
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