why im i the only drunk person in the library?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
