Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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