She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
